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Anubhav Sharma
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Valentine’s Day for Singles

Soon the color red and pink will dominate the world while streets, shops, malls would all decked up with hearts. There were times when I generally would get disturbed, worried and misplaced with all these preparations to announce the Season of Love, which essentially is only about encouraging the luckier one’s (Those who have lover/s) to spend some more on their sweethearts. There are many who will be excited, the chosen ones and obviously the florist. I hated on those occasions this particular one right across our society gate who would hang a loud placard saying – Don’t forget to buy roses on Valentine’ day.

Valentine’s Day – the day when singles in the pecking order are simply forced to the bottom in the society thriving on relationships. If you are not the one holding the roses, cards among other things then you are, who? You are not only single but also suddenly a reason for the recession making it harder for economies trying hard to fight back. I mean all you had to do was fall in love for whatever its while and then buy some roses, cards and gifts to make your contribution towards recovering economy.

That’s economical damage and you not being in a Valentine-like relationship which was easy to understand but WTF is that (my) beautiful gal, the one whom I liked always (but never told) and is so sweet and sober doing with a guy who I thought was a gay in the first place. I mean his jeans is not on his waist but much lower that one could really not ignore his Jockey; his angry porcupine-like hair, and the ear-rings, bracelets, rudraksh necklace with some other mixed chains, a t-shirt with up-yours sign, boots so big that I wonder how he ever managed to walk with them on. There was nothing more nothing less; otherwise he would ensure that you saw it.

Is this, what happened to you as well my friend, and you are still alone in the month of February. No worries  you can still do a lot to overcome the drudgery of the Valentine’s Day:

Extremists:

Firstly, let’s get completely there so that we have no confusions in our mind to make it as successful as it gets. So now stop trying desperately to get yourself a date. It’s simple that if you are not one of them then you hate them! You are nothing short of angry-cynical-young-single who is against westernization of our culture and that’s when you should head to join Bajrang Dal, Shiv Sena or likewise to drive more out of the whole being angry-cynical-young-single deal. Make a group, enter a marketplace, and disrupt everything and let them have no fun or if you have a match box go ahead, you know what to do. The deal is if you really do it well you have the ticket for the upcoming election.

T-Shirt Ideas:

When subtlety is your style then just wear a t-shirt and roam around. Some ideas:

tshirts

Wicked:

So you are.

wicked1How about you calling all your ex-es and tell them that how good you feel having them out of your lives. Reconfirm after every hour by sending them a SMS saying the same throughout the day. boobs2

If you only had one then you may consider buying her a present say a smaller size dress to announce that how fat she is

or for the intimacy simply increase the cup size and send it across… yeah.

Good Karma:

good-karma1 Stay at home; avoid places where Couples might frequent. It’s time to enjoy your single status. Open an excel sheet and quickly calculate that how much money you have saved simply by staying single. Cost per date X No. of dates in a month X 12 will come to some large amount in which then you shall add Gifts, traveling, mobile phone expense and other large Misc. amount. Now there you are so much richer than your friend who is smitten and so blind to see the reality. Buy yourself something nice that you wanted and Enjoy!

If you have more interesting ideas please add in the comments section. Stay well people, Love is in the Air.

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Anubhav Sharma